The beginnings of the tradition of lighting a unity candle during the wedding ceremony are rather ambiguous. No one really knows when this poignant addition to the religious wedding service began, but it is estimated that it’s been around for about 30 years and may have its origins in New Age-ism. Some say the unity candle took off in popularity after it was used in the famous wedding of Luke and Laura on TV’s General Hospital in 1981.

Nevertheless, most Christian, interfaith, and secular couples have embraced this tradition and treasure its meaning. The symbolism of the unity candle is actually quite simple and most believe its roots are found in the Biblical verse which states that, once married, “two shall become one.”

However, families (mothers in particular) are often involved in the candle lighting process. Mothers of the bride and groom (or another family representative) light the single tapers on either side of the unity candle before the service officially begins. Later, the couple takes the light from those candles to light the center candle, which is usually personalized with the names of the bride and groom. When the family is involved, tradition dictates that the use of the unity candle signifies the uniting of the love of both families in support of the newlywed couple.

After the lighting of the main candle, some couples extinguish the tapers. Others leave them lit to stress that they are maintaining their individuality despite their marriage.